Sitting in the office, getting our taxes together to send in to our CPA, I hear Matt in the kitchen, busy making a birthday cake. He is wanting to bring a birthday cake with us to the hospital so that when Olive is born, we can offer her first official birthday cake to visitors who come to our room. I’m filling out last minute deposit slips, cleaning up my desk, organizing papers and occasionally feeling a contraction here and there. The mystery of when this event will take place is overwhelming, but I’m so thankful that I don’t have a schedule of when she will be here. I realize in this moment of doing “little things” that big things are happening. Matt is practicing guitar, I’m occasionally gripping the desk to deal with a contraction, and all the while, God is orchestrating this whole event. He has us in mind and he cares for us. I know this, though at times, I let myself believe the lies that we are on our own.
I want to remember us how we are right now. Matt and I are so close. We’re the best team imaginable. We love each other, we respect each other. We laugh at the same jokes and annoyances and the same things excite and bother us. We find it hard to have complete joy without the other. We’ve experienced so much together, been to so many new places and have had extremely deep pain as well. I know that no matter what happens in the week to come, that we will be okay. I know this first, because God is in control. I know this second because of all the proof I’ve seen over the years. God has given me such a blessing in a partner like Matt. He cares for me and attends to my needs more than anyone else in my life. He will do the same for Olive and for any other children we may have in the future. I know that his character and his love for us and for Christ will only grow in the coming months and years. I always pray for his heart, that it will remain open to God’s will first.
We are ready for this. We have read the books, taken the classes, lost one baby and have fully enjoyed the pregnancy of this baby. I have enjoyed this pregnancy. Up until this last month, I’ve felt wonderful. I’ve loved the sweetness of feeling her move, the amazement at feeling a person inside me have the hiccups, seen the joy in Matt’s face as he felt her move for the first time – it’s all been wonderful and an experience that I’ll never forget. If I go into labor tomorrow, I’ll feel ready to have Olive meet us and our families and this wonderful world God’s given us. Thank you, Lord, for being strong and being in control and being the most amazing creator. I’m putting this in your hands.
We celebrated our seven year anniversary today. We just spent the day together – exactly like we prefer to be all the time. We talked today about how we really won’t mind being homebodies when Olive gets here because we already are! There really isn’t anything we’d rather do than to have a cup of coffee together in the morning, go to the bookstore, run errands and probably also cook together. So when Olive gets here, there will just be a new person who is our favorite person to do all those things with. That lessens the scariness of disrupting our little world.
We bought a few things for her room today and spent most of Saturday setting things up. We moved some furniture around and made room for the crib and changing table. Today we bought more drawers for the closet and will soon begin to organize the boxes of clothes that our friend, Ashley, has already brought to our house from her two girls! Sometimes we both feel so overwhelmed – we really can’t imagine our lives changing 100% in just one day. When we were holding Cali and Alex’s baby on Saturday morning, it both hit us that we’d be holding our own little life-changer in just 9 short weeks. It’s impossible to fathom. I just keep praying that she will be healthy and “normal” and full of happiness and that she’ll be a good baby and that we’ll be good parents.
Tonight we also shared a meal at Las Brisas, a nice steakhouse outside of town, and then laughed and cried (both of us!) at this video while sitting in our car in the Target parking lot:
Matt wants to set up some sort of email for Olive so that he can write her letters and I adore that idea. How lucky she will be to have a father who is so interested in her and loves her so much. How lucky I am to have that kind of husband.
We spent the rest of our evening scrap-booking about our trip to France (finally got it done!), eating chocolate chip cookies and just being together. Every day is exactly how I want it if Matt is here with me. Soon there will be more love to share.
We’re having trouble thinking of the perfect middle name to go with Olive. Olive is perfect and a middle name somehow makes it less perfect (with our current contenders.) Matt’s even gone as far as to suggest going the Harry S. Truman route and having just an initial be her middle name. (not really, but kinda)
Allison (this used to be the front runner but now I’m starting to fall out of love)
aaaaaand that’s it. Noel has been thrown out there – I kinda like it, although I think something more common would be fitting for such a unique first name. Ruth was such an impressive woman in the Bible. So strong willed and sure of herself and of her God. Allison would honor Matt’s great grandpa, Allison Cummings and my niece, Kari Alyson, who was the first grandchild in our immediate family (and kind of everyone’s favorite gal.)
WHAT TO DO?!
So we have a little girl on the way, due in March! I am currently 30 weeks and only have 10 to go! I go from being really content to really freaked out, about every other day. It’s so much to think about owning a little human. To be the reason she eats, grows, thrives, learns and becomes a good person is a weight I don’t think I can fully carry. Good thing God gave me Matt. He’s been so amazing through this pregnancy and I know now for sure why God placed us together. He is my best friend and the strength I need to get me through most days. I know he’s going to be an amazing father and I can’t wait to see that.
There are so many plans still to do! I need to get the nursery figured out and I need to do some spring cleaning. January is blessedly blank for me, work-wise, so I can devote some good hours to making this house baby-ready.
I just wanted to write on this blog again to remind myself that we have this domain name and we might as well use it for all things occurring in the Palmer house. Recipes, future baby pics (a freakin’ ton of them), updates on life and family, and generally just things that us and maybe 3 or 4 other people might find interesting as well 🙂